Hey everyone !
It’s been a couple of days that I’ve been wanting to write something, but I wasn’t sure of the topic to talk about. Actually I wanted to share thoughts about different things, but I would have had to talk about things I don’t like, that hurt me and I was not and still am not in the mood to write about something negative. I do want to share something, but I want it to be positive. Si I’ve been clicking on « add » a new article several times a day but after staring at the blank page I came up to the conclusion that I didn’t want to fill it with useless thoughts.
« If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all. » Thumper, Bambi.
My dad used this quote soooo many times on us. It would actually get upset us or get us angry. Because he was right (actually Thumper’s mom – reminding him what his dad told him -who was right :p ). It is so easy to fall in the trap of expressing our negative thoughts. Gossiping for instance, spreading rumors, we all know people that have a tendency to give into that. And we have also fell into that trap.
Not so long ago I fell into it. I always try to avoid being that stupid. But hey what can I say, I sometimes act stupid. It felt liberating, because I was expressing these feelings that frustrated me to person A about a person C. But nourishing negative thoughts and thinking we’ll get away with it is such a bad (and stupid) idea ! Obviously person A decided to bring up on the open on a social network my thoughts. So several thoughts I had had were are put into a bundle, along with that went person’s A judgement on person C.
Person C wasn’t happy at all. Hurt. And so was I. At first I was upset because that person has been talking a lot in my back for years, people around that person always know what’s up in my life, even personal things I don’t talk about to some of my friends… But I soon realized that I was only feeling worse. And the true feeling that I felt deep down was being hurt. Not hurt because I had trusted the wrong person. Not hurt because person C had been talking for years in my back. Hurt because I knew just how it felt. Hurt because although person C had talked in my back I was putting myself lower yet by doing exactly that thing I despised. Hurt because let’s face it, revealing that side of myself meant it was there and that I had probably broken trust I had, I stained the image not only that person had but all of my contacts had. Obviously they didn’t know I had said and differenciate it with what had been written, but I wasn’t going to brag « no I only thought this and that, that part was person’s A interpretation of my words and their judgement. »
I have always tried avoiding this because my parents raised me up to be an honest person, with values. And I had just proven that I wasn’t worthy of those years of love, counseling, advice. I want to be a better children to my parents. I want to be a better half to Sylvain. And I definately want to be a better mom to my daughter. And it felt like everything was ruined, spoiled because of frustration and didn’t have the guts to express directly to the person concerned.
For a week I felt terrible. But Sylvain told me to stop focusing on it, I had wasted enough time (and tears). So I moved on.
Another thing my parents have tought me is to lay conditions in my life. And I realized I had just got a great condition for destroying a relationship with my childish behavior. It was up to me to make it better. So I decided I’d work on my behavior. And that reminded me of a very good book. « The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People » . I am pretty sure you have at least heard about it. It’s a great book, I recommend it to those of you who haven’t read it. It’s that kind of book that guides you in a very clear way and every time you’ll read it again, another point will strike you as being so very true. We grow, change, evolve and what wasn’t helpful a year ago can be exactly what you need to hear or read right now. So I have rediscovered the book recently and have been reading a bit here and there. There’s a lot of good content so when I pick it up I only read a few pages so the content can sink in, that I can think about it.
Note for myself : If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.